sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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