It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
