dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
