K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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