I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
