i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Randomize
