When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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