YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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