she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize