i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
