We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
