Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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