He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
