Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
