Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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