Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
