dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just forgot I was standing up.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize