your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I need to stop coming to work sober
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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