Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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