no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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