I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
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