Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
