I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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