I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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