as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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