Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Randomize
