party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize