Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I will pee on everything he values.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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