Kareoke will never be a sober sport
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
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