HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
