I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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