after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
