dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
You dont lie about slip and slides
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
