I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize