I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
