I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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