Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
