Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
