What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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