No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
