Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
