I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
