She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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