Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
