Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I need a burrito and a hug.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Boobs are out for the taking
i am craving dick and cupcakes
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize