yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
