That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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