So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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