i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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