Me too!
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
