He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize