i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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