His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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