god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
