I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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