I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
