i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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