Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
