I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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