you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
